Love, life balance
Tuesday 20 December, 2011 | Ask the Expert: Charmaine Saunders
I HAVE placed the sexual relationship with my husband below fulfilling several of my own needs. He has shared with me that he feels a high level of anxiety because of our unhealthy sexual relationship. We have sex a couple of times per month max.
I am currently quitting my job without a new one to go to, I am searching for a new, more spiritually fulfilling career direction and I have a chronic pain syndrome exacerbated by the type of work I am currently involved with.
The needs I place higher are: finding the right work, earning enough money without steady employment to maintain a comfortable lifestyle and learning to effectively integrate health management and coping skills into daily living.
What can you suggest in terms of successfully reprioritising my relationship or the other issues I’ve listed which impact on it?
Answer this week by Dr Charmaine Saunders, a counsellor with 20 years experience in the field of personal development.
This is a very relevant question for the 21st century. We're all so stretched these days it's very easy to neglect our relationships and personal needs. Of course, the other needs you list are important too but prioritising is a must, so everything in our lives is in balance.
Sex with our partners should rate highly, mainly because it generates closeness and constitutes quality time in a relationship. It should never be a chore and a burden, something done to keep the peace or to please another. It is not even about the number of times we connect, which is the “in-term” around these days.
What you need to do in order to sever yourself from the problem is to take your power back, to be in charge of your own life again.
I wouldn’t dream of telling you what is morally wrong as it is a personal judgement but the fact you’re unhappy is already speaking volumes. You want and deserve your own life, husband, family, whatever it is you decide you would like to bring into your life.
This article was provided by Charmaine Saunders. Find out more about dating and other emotional well-being topics at www.charmainesaunders.com.
