Help! I don't know how to party

HELP! We’re throwing a party for work colleagues who are notoriously fussy and Nigella I am not. Any tips on something simple that even a child (moi – in the kitchen, anyway) could achieve? I really can’t cook and am not confident about entertaining but can't afford a caterer.

Our expert is Constantine Laptev, who ran the kitchens in a number of major restaurants before moving into his own gourmet packaged food and catering business.

The answer in your case is to keep it simple and don’t hesitate to buy in what you need to carry you through. It’s better to do a few things well than to go for an extravaganza where you end up with not quite enough of anything.

We like to plan our catering from guests' arrival through to departure so think along these lines, including what your guests see, drink, eat and hear on arrival. For a nice entry look, why not go for some time-honoured drinks and party classics which can also be seen by your fussy friends as trendily retro?

I am thinking things like making sure everyone has a Pimms or some punch on arrival. The classic Pimms is served with lemonade, sliced cucumber and sprigs of mint. Serve it in jugs with plenty of ice so guests can pour at will. If you don’t have catering help, wine, beer and (especially) soft drinks should be kept easily accessible to guests with glasses and empties receptacles at hand. Tell everyone to make themselves at home and help themselves from the outset so they’re not standing around expecting their glasses to be filled for them.

As cooking isn’t your thing, now is not the time to start. Order in. Asian food is great and you needn’t pay a fortune. Try:

• rice paper rolls with a variety of fillings from a decent Asian takeaway (negotiate on price and you will be surprised how much more cheaply you can get them than from a caterer. Oops did I say that? Cut them in half, arrange on a platter with ramekins of sauce and away you go. If you get them in early, refrigerate and cover with moistened clean tea towels to stop them from drying out.
  
• sushi – a couple of platters. A great crowd pleaser.
  
• satay varieties, sauce on the side for something more substantial. Warm gently, plate up and serve with ramekins of sauce.
  
• chicken wings – serve as above.
  
• any other tasty morsels but be sure they reheat with ease and you have the oven capacity and kitchen crew (yourself and others) on hand.

If you don’t want to stick with an Asian theme and go eclectic, other easy crowd pleasers are pre-purchased mini pastry cases that you can fill with pre-prepared fillings. They can be fiddly and need to be assembled very close to serving time so take that into account.

Try goat’s cheese blended with some store-bought olive tapenade; flaked hot smoked trout mixed with tzatziki; an asparagus tip wrapped in proscuitto on a dollop of cream cheese or a white bean dip topped with a skerrick of seafood – puree white beans with garlic, parsley lemon juice, olive oil salt and pepper. Dollop into the case and top with fresh prawn (slice freshones into discs) or crab meat, some smoked fish or gleaming salmon roe.

Sweet treats can be cubes of fresh fruit: melons, strawberries (dipped in chocolate – you can melt and dip yourself or buy them at some gourmet stores) along with store bought slices or brownies cut into bite-sized pieces for the sweet tooths. Turkish delight also works well.

Make sure you have plenty of napkins and toothpicks on hand near the platters.

Keep the lighting dim and load up with candles and tea lights which is always a good look. Plan the music beforehand and keep it coming – designate a music monitor to help if someone springs to mind.

Most of all, don’t stress, because a stressed hostess can sure ruin a party. Have a good time instead. Just remember that okay, you may not be Nigella but I am sure you have other talents.